Resentments or Peace in your Heart: You Decide

Emmet Fox once said: “Our resentments bind us to the person with a cord stronger than steel”

Think about this for a moment. Would you choose to be bound by a cord stronger than steel to the person who has hurt you, betrayed you, lied to you or screwed you over? How crazy is that? They have ripped part of your heart out, and then you give them the rest of it! By hanging onto to your resentments, you give your power, your peace of mind and your ability to create anew to another person or persons. It defies logic. And just in case you believe you are actually hurting the person who wronged you by holding on to your grudges and resentments, let me clue you in. Most of them really don’t care if you are hurt and angry. It is no skin off their backs. In fact, many of the people you are devoting your thoughts, feeling, and precious energy to hating probably have forgotten what they did, or are now dead. Wow, this is crazy.

We probably hold onto our resentments and bitterness only when we attempting to prove that we are right and someone else is wrong. Perhaps we are trying to change what happened in the past or struggling to regain a sense of control over our present circumstances. Maybe we still care for the person who deeply hurt us, thus we would rather be connected to them in a negative way not be connect at all. Or perhaps they have become our excuse for why we are not living he life we want to live, for why we are stuck, or why we continue to beat ourselves up. These are just a few of the reasons we hang on to our resentment, anger, and bitterness.

However, no matter what the reasons, if we seek to move on with our life, we must learn how to forgive. This is why I prefer RADICAL FORGIVENESS over Traditional Forgiveness.

“With Traditional Forgiveness, the willingness to forgive is present but so is the residual need to condemn. Therefore victim consciousness is maintained and nothing changes.”

“With Radical Forgiveness, the willingness to forgive is present but not the need to condemn. Therefore the victim consciousness is dropped and every thing changes.”

Victim Consciousness is defined as the belief that someone else has done something wrong to you, and as a direct result, they are responsible for the lack of peace in your life.

Here are some suggestions for anyone who upset with others

  1. Make a list of all the ways your resentments stop you, hurt you, or keep you in the past.
  2. Spend some time this week becoming present to and wonder how my life would change if I forgive others.
  3. Meditate on this holy line: “Forgive me my trespasses as I forgive those who trespass against me.”
  4. Learn how to use the Radical Forgiveness tools.